Wednesday, 6 August 2008

They Know.

My mind was spending all this time thinking up terrible things that would happen if I told my family, I never considered that they would accept and still love me.

"Do you want to become a woman?" I was asked.

I was desperately trying not to cry and couldn't speak much because of it. They noticed everything, the way I was acting and were concerned.

Cried after it, still very tear-y hours later. Glad its out.

9 comments:

Jenny Harvey said...

Well done Lucy.
You are braver than I was. I never told my parents, it was a drunk wife (at the time) who outed me.
She did do me a favour.
I know it was upsetting but I bet they are relieved you confided in them
xxxxx

alan said...

I'm so happy for you! Living in fear of our loved ones isn't really living at all I think...this from one who still does...

alan

Shinigami Liz said...

It's good it's out finally, although in my case it is still only marginally better lol. When I told my family 13 years ago (damn I feel old and like I have made zero progress in the past decade lol) they told me that they already knew that and were worried I had some horrible news that I was going to share with them. Of course they love me and don't ever want me out of their lives but still have tried subtlety (and not so subtle) to talk me out of transitioning. I tried to avoid going thru with it and all I have accopmlished was making myself (and everyone around me) mostly miserable. They aren't really going to be satisfied until after I have been fulltime for a while and see what a difference there is in me. It was after I let my mom read my HRT acceptance letter from my therapist that she cut down a lot on trying to talk me out of it. She was horribly upset that she never realized how miserable I have been my entire life and about started crying. That and when she asked how many times I tried committing suicide and I told her I lost count several years ago but it hadn't worked yet lol, and that I could stay a guy but eventually I wouldn't fail. Those are just some brief examples of my own experience (I could write a book about them if I had the time lol) and I hope they help make ya feel a little better. Things are going good for ya now and it is impossible not to cry when that much stress and concern gets set free. Big hugs XXXX.

Lynn Jones said...

would accept and still love me
I'm glad it went well. It must have been very difficult, so 'go you' for doing it!!

I suppose the fear is that our parents / partners would freak out or be angry. Sometimes nice things happen too! :)

I remember telling my mum (years ago) and while we both cried - because I was freaked out about - she was very good about it. She told my Dad sometime later and he too was very good about the whole thing. I think they both hoped it was 'just a phase'. I've never said anything more as why rock their world? :)

sophie h said...

I'm so glad for you Lucy. It must be a huge worry off your mind. I wish I could bring myself to tell my parents, just terrified of hurting them.

Penny M said...

I admire your courage Lucy darling. And I'm very pleased it went so well.

LucyTolliday said...

Thanks everyone *hugs* x

It wasn't like a bolt from the blue for my mum. I think she twigged something was up.

Playing back the conversation in my mind it was my mum who did most of the talking. It was the bit about being who you want to be and we'd love you whatever that just cracked me into floods of tears. It was a cathartic release.

I don't consider myself brave in the way I shunned my family and friends leading up to it, in some way it exacerbated the pain.

As for the future, who knows.

Lucy. x

Debbie K said...

Well done Lucy

This was a really courageous thing to do.
The first steps are always the hardest what ever path you take.
I am so pleased you had a good reaction.

Bless you & your family

Love
Debbie

Jessica Hart said...

Very pleased for the acceptance you've had, Lucy.