Sunday, 31 May 2009

Dress To Impress

In the world of daytime television amongst the auction and property shows a good drama was shown.

In a series of drama's about moving on, called naturally enough Moving On

If you missed it somebodies uploaded the drama (about 40 minutes) to Youtube.

It brought back a lot of memories. So my views as the overall standard of drama may be clouded.

Potential spoiler, highlight to see. The dialogue was sometimes clunky but there were some recognisable touches to the trans scenes like the sigh of joy when he (sic) looks in the mirror and the moment when he's hiding from his dad. Also the looks at other women. Yes the reveal in front of his parents may be over the top but that's dramatic licence paving the way to leaving home. The one slight let down was the mum. From the way the mother acted I was surprised she did not already know or looked so shocked but the blokey, horny dad never in a million years.

Part 1

Part 2

Parts three, four, five, six and seven.

Friday, 29 May 2009

The Carousel Has Passed

Its my birthday, yay! Woot! Etc..

If you think this is just a transparent attempt to garner some happy birthday greetings then... yes it is,... this being, I hope, fairly honest blog. So while I am that shameless I would like to think I'm shamelessly integral.

But that's not the reason I opened my word processor and started typing. The days leading up have given the opportunity for introspection. The time for "Carousel" has passed (or it would be if we existed in a world where a Malthusian solution was employed) and I still haven't settled down.

I'm still single with no kids, the latter I still have no desire to have although I jokingly remark that it's because I think they will write some kind of Mommy Dearest type memoir when they grow up about their monstrous trans parent. In reality, though, I'd muddle along and may develop the large amounts of stamina and patience parents have that lessor mortals don't.

Ever the eternal optimist I'm still searching prepared to deal with the consequences of my status even if the line may go dead when they find out. Also on the plus side I get the whole bed to myself, can choose what I want to watch on tv, I'm sure there are many more pluses to being a single girl that I just don't realise now, until I'm sat with a partner who has a really disgusting habit.

It is also that the sound of the clock ticking is pounding in my mind. Life's too short yet I can be paralysed by fear, my lack of confidence and over analytical nature. It's not all the time, sometimes I can surprise myself how I step outside my narrow zone. My recent shock (see previous entry) in the end may be a blessing in disguise. Time will tell.

There are other things, but wary of straying into TLDR territory and being a bit tired this will be it...

...for now.

Monday, 25 May 2009

Neighbourhood Outing

Last Monday was the day I outed myself to the neighbour. Entirely accidentally as I was hoping to slip indoors after he had let himself in. Even after this long my default mode is avoidance and I got the fright of my life when he poked his head round to investigate.

Having had some days to gain some perspective, it emphasises the problems I have where I am and the need to be a little cloak and dagger which makes me feel trapped. But if I let it, then it could become a ready made excuse. It also brings into focus that to be me I may have leave the area to be me.

I feel relaxed about it, at least I know they know even if as appears they're doing the avoiding (makes a change) and is never mentioned again.

Also do all trans girls forget any practised vocal after a shock?

Friday, 15 May 2009

I Dont Bite Before Midnight

I have failed to write about my recent trips out so before it falls out my mind here's a brief summary of one. Bad me, I know, really should write it while it is fresh in my mind. My hairs getting longer after five months since its last cut, I decided to chance leaving the wig and try to make something from my own hair. Straightening and brushing my fringe forward to hide the little bits that have recessed which limits my style options even more.

Despite this and the fact I was late even for me, I went out. My make up was also a terribly rushed affair unlike the previous time where I over did it. On both occasions it probably showed. One thing I try to do is apply enough without going over the tipping point of looking really caked on.

In the end I wondered why I bothered rushing, not their fault just a further indication I need to find things outside the "scene" which are more to my taste. The true adventure was meandering my way home.

Perhaps adventure is overselling it a little...

But for me my flaws real or imaginary didn't matter and my confidence was with me despite the numbers out and about. Despite having some flat shoes in my bag, I walked home in my heals. A bad decision for my feet but they'll recover in a few months :-). Reactions? None I could detect but then I only get really scary long after midnight.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Net Loss

There is a lot to be said in favour of net curtains, unfortunately they seem to have fallen out such favour. Yesterday I took a walk via the supermarket that took me though a post war council estate and a new estate near me built in the identikit mock Georgian style that every house builder has adopted. What I noticed was in the new estate having nets was the rare exception whereas the "council estate" (a brief online check of home sales suggests few if any are social accommodation these days) homes mostly had nets up. They also with the odd exception looked nice and white. There probably is an age and class (however you define it these days) explanation in the difference along with the passing of fashions. It has been seen as something a bit naff or twee.

Being never knowingly trendy and having spent ages cleaning one of the alternatives (blinds) over the weekend, I feel there are great advantages of having a net curtain. Firstly people like myself wont wonder past you slouched out eating your tea while watching Eastenders. Secondly you can see the salesman or other unwelcome visitors (hello) approach allowing enough time to take evasive action. There seems to be plenty of guys knocking at my door trying to get me signing with that energy firm or the other, however whenever I check their prices online there seems no more than £10 between them, not really worth the hassle. Thirdly you can peak on the neighbours, don't pretend you don't want to yes you do its human nature. Fourthly you can mime along to Baby One More Time with the sunlight beaming in without scarring the neighbours. OK that's probably just me (I Still don't think they have fully recovered by the way).

There are many more but overall your nan was right you need net curtains so do I.