2012

I am dreading the 2012 opening ceremony if its anything like the London spot during this years Olympic closing ceremony with the whole lame bus thing. Visions of Diana Ross missing a penulty again as a nation cringes in embarrisment at the sheer horror of it. Perhaps we should just pretend its another state funeral, we're quite good at them or hire Chaz and Dave to perform Rabbit.

General Studies.

I tend to know bits of many subjects instead of a lot about a few, so when I start opining about something I'm always aware there's someone out there to say I'm wrong. Not just that they can say why while pointing and laughing at my lack of in-depth knowledge.

That may be a problem after all the General Studies A Level was widely considered to one of the most pointless qualifications ever invented.

Come to think of it, lack of knowledge hasn't stopped me before.

Solutions.

Have not had a great deal of time to add more to my blog or to stick to my promises to reply. I could have added something via my mobile but my data charges are probably too high as it is. Despite great noises being made about mobile sites it is best for accessing travel news and timetables, weather and reading email, not for writing long blog posts which I'd try to email in.

My recent posts have contained more heartache than a country ballad (I cant remember any songs about trannies, but you get the point). It probably has been seen before all this tranny angst. Although unique to me it seems quite similar.

Just been thinking things through, excerpt from that conversation replay. The question do you want to be a woman? I've given thought to the answer and its yes. The problem is that I never will be able to replicate the full experience of being a woman, there's just so many rights of passage I've missed. Time and testosterone have seen to that and its so depressing if I give it too much thought.

I have thought about many things. What once seemed impossible for me is beginning to seem possible.

I could carry on complaining but I am looking for solutions for the question of how do you solve a problem like Lucy?

The Mess Round My Computer.

...Has a new addition.

Another old teddy, (I know I can buy a new one for few pounds, but it wouldn't have the character) currently hugging my web cam. Needs some more stuffing.

The space round my computer is cluttered (but not dirty, she hastens to add) with bits and pieces close to hand like my diary, phone, scrap of paper with the passwords to sites like Facebook, Angels forum, New York Times etc. Then there's the personal effects, family photo's and a little drawing from my niece. Before the days of hot desking and restrictive diktats such items adorned many staff members personal space at work.

Statue Of Little Baby Cheeses.

Oh my God. This is just so wrong it MAKES ME WANT TO TYPE IN CAPITALS. Yes a new version has been made of the show which launched a thousand drag tribute acts.

YouTube - Kath and Kim American Version.

I don't think the makers quite get the essence of the original and the genius of the girls behind it. In many ways it is quintessentially Australian. (I think you can tell I'm a big fan of the original show).

Not all remakes are bad though most like the remaking of every decent Japanese horror film (which seems to be going on at the moment) are unnecessary.

In tv sitcom land for every success like The Upper Hand (the UK version of Who's The Boss) and The Office. There are many more flops, The Brighton Belles (The Golden Girls), Days Like These (That '70's show) and the version of One Foot In the Grave with Bill Cosby.

Just Look Ahead Now.

Thank you for your responses, they are much appreciated. I'll try to respond to them within a day or two and I will write something longer soon.

I've just been busy, feeling incredibly tired and a bit crap, which for part of the week was matched by the weather a mixture of clouds, heavy rain and the wearing of coats that should normally still be packed away at this time of year. The emotional pain I felt was joined by a physical pain which necessitated a trip to dentist and some expensive follow up work to come.

That said I'm better than I was last week but then it couldn't have got much worse so the only way was up.

Hope you are fine wherever you are.

Apology Caption.

We're sorry for the interruption, we hope to resume a normal blog service soon. In the meantime here's some music.

Scary.

So I spent the following day catching up on a little sleep, the past few weeks have been a slow moving crash waiting to happen. It was scary, I contemplated doing something drastic. I'm thinking maybe its time to consider I may be ts but I seem to have a mental block on the word. Its like the average brain takes longer to process danger or threats, this is a fraction of a second but for a fighter pilot it means the difference between life and death. I should have seen what's wrong with me how it was tearing my life apart. I need to get to the root of the problem.

They Know.

My mind was spending all this time thinking up terrible things that would happen if I told my family, I never considered that they would accept and still love me.

"Do you want to become a woman?" I was asked.

I was desperately trying not to cry and couldn't speak much because of it. They noticed everything, the way I was acting and were concerned.

Cried after it, still very tear-y hours later. Glad its out.

Fáilte Towers.

If you were wondering what happened to the siblings who did the Irish Eurovision entry a few years ago, then wonder no more. (RTÉ.ie Entertainment: Fáilte Towers all set to open its doors).

Points for the title, points off for me because I know who most of the contestants are.

Given that reality and quiz television formats spread round the world very quickly expect a local version coming to your screens soon.

And if you didn't like that one there's 100's like it coming up.

View From A Castle

View from a castle
Originally uploaded by Lucy and some pictures

Taken on a cloudy blustery day, from Barberry Castle at the edge of the Marlborough Downs in Wiltshire. In the distance about 6 miles away is the town of Swindon.

I forgot to add, its the site of an Iron age fort and is a nice place to walk round.

A Glamorous Life.

It is not as if my life is interesting enough to write about in the first place. How I wish it was more interesting, a whirl of glitz and glamour. I do worry that this blog is not Sex In The City but more Ed Reardon's Week or Diary Of A Nobody.

Perhaps I should use this blog to encourage me to do interesting things. I am someone who could quite easily drift through my life, until one day I'm old and my carer is asking "do you want to be Lucy today?" And I'm thinking where did it all go?

I am not moaning to you about it, after all it is something I can control. But there is something scary about upping sticks and moving away from the familiar which is stopping me.

How Will I

A little thought. As I begin to come out and people start to know me face to face how will this blog, other online contributions (like forum posts, social network pages) and most importantly, myself change?

It's inevitable that it will. For a start they will see the real me, although this is honest in what I talk about, for example I don't claim to pass (and I am still a little upset about it, but have come to accept the fact). I do not mention everything, sometimes its too mundane and tedious, would 'out' me, I don't have time, or at worst it is something I'm not proud of.

The cathartic posts about my feelings will have to stop.

I started this as a closeted girl nobody had met me, that will no longer be the case. I hopefully will have an outlet but I don't want to think about what it will lead to.

As for here I'm was tempted to blow it up and start again but I've decided not to. The title and url still seems apt to me.