Saturday, 11 April 2009

My Own Little Thing

Oh look a field of trannies and they're about to link up and break into a rendition of I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing. But oh no someone's able to explain basics of the off-side law. This shouldn't be allowed. What next beer?

As previously stated if you ask 10 trannies for their definitions of the trans condition, you will end up with 11 different view points. If I am one of the 10 then mine is THE ONLY ONE THAT'S RELEVANT.

Only joking (I think).

I am happy to associate myself with the transgendered family but like any family (work, biological, household, etc.) you may love some but they can really do your head in and frustrate from time-to-time. What I mean all this back-biting and point scoring in some areas is not helping me.

So I need to take a step back from those cul-de-sac's, to do my own little thing. While I get things in perspective and decide on my way through the forest for a while. It's a compromise away from ripping it all up which have felt like doing several times and which my more rational side prevents.

I am, over time, becoming less ashamed over who I am and who I will be, the moments of self-flagellation are becoming more and more spread apart. Over the days my mood has swung back and forth, one day I'm coping and feel such a fraud for even seeking help, the next I feel terrible and despising of the person looking back at me.

Some are of the opinion that you are better off staying away if you wish to transition I would not go that far but holidays away from the trans bubble are welcome at times.

6 comments:

Lynn Jones said...

To labels and advice? Keep the ones / bits you like and ignore the rest... including mine :)

I think doing your own thing is what's needed. Nevermind what everyone else gets up to, it's you that matters, not how they do it.

Can I say you shouldn't be ashamed? I know that's not easy to take because of your own internal feelings, but really... what's so bad? Yeah, it's tough sometimes, but it's not like we're cruel or heartless people. We just have an extended wardrobe :)

I hope the good feelings continue.

Jess said...

As you may have read, I've written some similar thoughts about "T* UK PLC" recently - I think we all need to find our own comfort zone for engagement - for me it alters wildly, sometimes daily.

Vanessa said...

I find that I also vacilate back and forth between being ashamed and grateful. It's a tough balancing act. Every time I think I've cracked my self acceptance something else comes up that makes me doubt it.

Hugs,

Calie said...

Lucy: And all of this time I've thought mine is the only one that is relevant! Thanks for clearing this up!

Lynn: Love your comment on labels and advice.

Lucy said...

what you say makes sense,for myself I did not want to live my life in a "trans bubble" or LGBT bubble"

It is healthy to also have a fully rounded circle of friends from all walks of life.
I do have some trans friends, but when Im out I look for a people friendly pub.

good luck with everything.

Debbie K said...

Hi Lucy
You have to try to do what feels right to you. All the labels stuff & my T is bigger than than your t is ####!

It is a bit of a cliche but I like the saying "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly what is essentially invisible to the eye!

You have a good heart, my friend.

Love
Debbie