I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body. - Elayne BooslerI have been thinking about whether things are easier for men for a few weeks then I see this on the Postsecret blog.
----Email Message-----
Sent: Sunday, April 20, 2008 10:10 PM
Subject: Life is easier
I am a medical student who recently heard a doctor who works with people who are going through gender reassignments. The (male) doctor said that as part of the pre-surgery counseling, he always asks the male-to-female patients if they are ready to give up their privileged-male status in society. He said the patients often come back to him after they have completed their transition into a female. They tell him that they didn’t realize how significant the privileged-male status is.
It does seem odd when you put it like that. I don't dispute what is being claimed, and yet many born males feel better becoming female and feel perfectly natural (admittedly the language is a bit simplistic but I hope you get the point).
A transsexual surely feels better "becoming female" because being female is natural to them not because being a woman is somehow better in itself? Surely? It seems absurd to me to argue that one sex is better or has things easier than the other.
ReplyDeleteHowever, sexism is undoubtedly still rampant in our society and male privilege a major part of it. It is the assumption that as a man one belongs everywhere, that one can speak out whenever, that one can take charge wherever. Few men, though, are even aware of possessing such a thing. You don't really know you have it until you lose it.
I got my first taste of what it's like to give it up even before I decided to transition. It was my second date with my boyfriend. We were deciding on a restaurant to dine in. I wanted to go to the Italian across the road - and got "told off" for being too strident in expressing my preference. I was gently reminded that it was not my place as the "woman" in the relationship to make final decisions!!!
It comes as a bit of a shock, to say the least. And it's something you have to learn to cope with.
Its a view I've heard expounded before, indeed in a more extreme format along the lines that having given up the (perceived) privileges of Maledom, a M2F drops ranks to number three in the pecking order as a "punishment" - i.e the pecking order is:
ReplyDeletea natal male
b natal female
c trans woman
(and I freely acknowledge the flaws in this view as regards F2M, intersex etc).
I suspect it is true, but equally I'm of the view that you make your own luck and progress in life - sure we start from different bases, some have a silver spoon of gender, privilege or intelligence given to them - indeed some the advantages dealt at random by geography and geo politics - but I think theres a strong element of personal determination.