Monday, 25 May 2009

Neighbourhood Outing

Last Monday was the day I outed myself to the neighbour. Entirely accidentally as I was hoping to slip indoors after he had let himself in. Even after this long my default mode is avoidance and I got the fright of my life when he poked his head round to investigate.

Having had some days to gain some perspective, it emphasises the problems I have where I am and the need to be a little cloak and dagger which makes me feel trapped. But if I let it, then it could become a ready made excuse. It also brings into focus that to be me I may have leave the area to be me.

I feel relaxed about it, at least I know they know even if as appears they're doing the avoiding (makes a change) and is never mentioned again.

Also do all trans girls forget any practised vocal after a shock?

5 comments:

alan said...

I'm hoping you don't mean leave because you fear for your safety...

A big enough shock and my vocabulary declines to those words I was writing about the other day!

alan

Pandora Caitiff said...

I can't comment on the voice. My voice is a deep bass so I don't bother trying to change it. And I have enough GG friends with deep voices that I don't worry about it. :)

As for neighbours, last time I went out dressed, I got stared at by a chav family as I was trying to get in my car. So I just stared back at them. (Although I was with my then girlfriend at the time, so maybe my confidence affected things!)

chrissie said...

I can recall those first few encounters with neighbours. That was ...oohhhh... late 1984, I guess. But that was London, at the height of the "gender bending" scene and after a few double-takes, no-one ever bothered again.

I understand the bit about ythe "ready-made excuse". I feel that now, but I have to be realistic.

Here it's very different. Until we move I dare not be visible, not through fear for myslf, but fear for my wife and child.

This is NOT a good village to come out it, as a gay policeman and his partner found when they set up home here a couple of years ago.

Last year their house was attacked one night by drunken yobs. One was arrested and charged. The predominating view in the village? "Serves them right. What did they expect?"

chrissie
xxxx

Jess said...

Everyone has a right to privacy - privacy of who you invite into your life, and not - and that means privacy from the judgement / condemnation / intrigue / whatever of your neighbours.

Its natural to be worried - and to do the rabbit-in-headlights thing - if you are exposed to a situation you're not comfortable with, or there is a leakage from one side of life to another.

As Kate Winslet said, "Gather, Gather...."

kzNfuS8f0vDgbirZwh_I2_OuXwYk4BlyI8c- said...

I recommend getting a set of prop vampire fangs that you can slip onto your teeth right before you get back to your neighborhood. Then should anyone spot you all you have to do is give them a big huge smile. Chances are they will just turn around and walk (run) away without you needing to say a single word.

- Shinigami Liz, half-demoness, half deviously clever bitch