Its my birthday, yay! Woot! Etc..
If you think this is just a transparent attempt to garner some happy birthday greetings then... yes it is,... this being, I hope, fairly honest blog. So while I am that shameless I would like to think I'm shamelessly integral.
But that's not the reason I opened my word processor and started typing. The days leading up have given the opportunity for introspection. The time for "Carousel" has passed (or it would be if we existed in a world where a Malthusian solution was employed) and I still haven't settled down.
I'm still single with no kids, the latter I still have no desire to have although I jokingly remark that it's because I think they will write some kind of Mommy Dearest type memoir when they grow up about their monstrous trans parent. In reality, though, I'd muddle along and may develop the large amounts of stamina and patience parents have that lessor mortals don't.
Ever the eternal optimist I'm still searching prepared to deal with the consequences of my status even if the line may go dead when they find out. Also on the plus side I get the whole bed to myself, can choose what I want to watch on tv, I'm sure there are many more pluses to being a single girl that I just don't realise now, until I'm sat with a partner who has a really disgusting habit.
It is also that the sound of the clock ticking is pounding in my mind. Life's too short yet I can be paralysed by fear, my lack of confidence and over analytical nature. It's not all the time, sometimes I can surprise myself how I step outside my narrow zone. My recent shock (see previous entry) in the end may be a blessing in disguise. Time will tell.
There are other things, but wary of straying into TLDR territory and being a bit tired this will be it...