I've Nothing Against..

When I hear someone start a sentence with "I'm not homophobic..." or "I've nothing against gays.." I brace myself because I know that a "but" will follow and something offensively homophobic will come out their mouth.

Just see the reaction to the television advert by Heinz (Heinz pulls ad showing men kissing, The Guardian) which brought out the usual crowd of people using religion and those saying "well what do I say to the children" (hint: you don't have to go into any detail about bum love) to justify their bigotry.

Then there were the complaints about the man being referred to as "mum". No they weren't trying to force gender bending or transgenderism down your throats. Don't you get the conceit and the intended "joke" behind it?

Despite the prophesies of doom from a section of religious people about increasing gay rights the world's still turning, sun still shines and we haven't been flooded out. Good grief they're even getting married. I think if someone upstairs was a little peeved they might have said something by now. (Oh, that's right 9 11 was because of the gays, feminists and abortionists (snopes.com: Falwell and Robertson Blame Liberal America).

I suspect all the controversy (and resultant free publicity) was intended. The press bumf before the campaign were all about new directions and edgy campaigns. Like many old brands who change agencies (see Cadbury last year) they swallow a load of buzzwords about getting modern and creative. Sometimes it works, most of the time it looks tragic or offensive. Like an parent trying to look cool and hip in front of their kids.

Cement Mixers.

What you really need is to wear a mask,
and book that plastic surgeon fast.

U.G.L.Y by Daphne & Celeste.

For most t-girls going without make-up would be impossible, I'm sure many wouldn't have it any other way.

The same seems to be true for many women who wouldn't dream of leaving the house without their mascara on, thick black eye-liner and other gubbins. Almost as if its some kind of cosmetic safety blanket acquired through routine and the belief that they will resemble a female John Merrick if they don't.

And they refuse to believe you if you say they'll look better (or as good) without it. Leave the cement mixers to us tranny's we often need it.

That's true even if we don't look as good as Myleene Klass. Heat magazine ran a feature on "celebs" being photographed without their make up or being photoshopped, although with a professional photographer and helpful lighting admittedly (The Mail's report). It's a good move from a magazine obsessed with pointing out people's flaws. I hope those who see the before and after photos will agree with the point I'm trying to make.

Nudist Milkman In The West.

There was a time when I tuned in to German television about 5 o'clock instead of viewing the Germanic version of Bodger and Badger or Biker Grove there was a naked man standing in front of a lake, his Mr happy flopping gently in the breeze. I was a little surprised to say the least while a saluting a nations apparent relaxed attitude to nudity.

Well imagine my surprise and times it by at least 10 and you may get close to feeling what the residents of South Cerney felt when a naked man delivers your milk. According to a rather dry report on the Swindon Advertiser website

"He was released without charge on advice from the Crown Prosecution Service but was given some stern advice".

One can only imagine what the stern advice was.

Maybe Next Month?

Don't all pass out at once, but I was going to be social tonight and go out.

First time.

Nerves and excitement in equal measure.

Something came up.

Drat. All my plans wasted.

Going to watch Doctor Who and get tipsy.


Update. Never got tipsy, but had a glass or few. There will be other times, it was just the initial disappointment.

An open letter to a manager.

Dear xxx,

There are times when being fair is unfair.

Yes you are obviously having a great laugh with her, but she isn't as hard working and diligent as your other assistant manager and her team. The latter being the reason why the assessment was passed so well.

You also shouldn't check up gossip about your assistant behind her back as it just undermines their position.

OK you are a little green and unused to a position of responsibility, mistakes will be made while you adjust. But you have to realise that what you see as fair demoralises your good staff who see others getting away with murder. It doesn't have to be a screaming bollocking just a little reminder. And praise your good people at he very least.

You have to remember that the pay and incentives isn't the best around and they know that. You can also try replacing them when they go, even in this market it'll be very hard.

Oh, and to be very blunt what you think makes you look cool and Branson like just reminds people of David Brent.

Yours.

Animals.

You do get the impression that some people care more for animals than they do for children.

Because something isn't 100% perfect otherwise competent potential pet owners are denied the chance to adopt a pet.

While some basic checks are necessary to stop the likes of Tom (above), don't get too pernickety. Most homes are far better than any shelter.

On a related note, PETA are campaigning for potential pet owners to pass a test before they can own a pet. The rationale for this they claim, is that it would reduce the number of pets abandoned.

I don't think this will make no difference, people will just resort to back door routes and won't bother with shelters. Exams can be passed and quickly forgotten. Finally users will probably shoulder the fee, pricing many out of owning a pet.

I do support their campaign against Burberry though.

Overheard.

I didn't transcribe the whole conversation, this is just some extracts that stuck in my mind.

"You've got something on her, if she says anything just mention her dad..."

"...he's got a wig and a lady name and everything".

"ha, ha, ha.."

"...that's just sad".

I don't know the persons gossiped about, I do know the gossipers. The woman may be obnoxious or sweet, I just don't know. Regardless I feel sorry for her potentially being abused for things outside her control.

I wonder sometimes what's the bloody point. I do try to dispel ignorance, but I doubt it ever sinks in. No wonder so many tranny's are apathetic.

It's All About Me.

Hi guys, Its finally stopped raining, its very wet where I am, not so much the river more the drains filling up, with people fearing it'll be last year all over again.

I'm currently snowed under with work and family gubbins, I apologise if I ain't replied to messages or contacted you as fast as I like to. Depressingly it's 50/50 whether I'll make it to Sparkle but its slightly better odds than last week, we'll see.

Oh and my birthday passed off uneventfully, but bless some of my family they got me a Doctor Who cake. I don't know whether to eat or frame it.

Avoiding the shadows, for now, Lucy.

Yves Saint Laurent, 1936 - 2008

With his many creations he helped revolutionise what women wear and his influence lingers on, from the boutique to the bargain shop.

(BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Obituary: Yves Saint Laurent)