Monday, 30 November 2009

Going Out

The outing of Belle Du Jour has brought into sharp focus the fact that it is better to control your destiny or narrative than have others pull you out.

A classic spoiler after the Daily Mail aided by a gobby ex boyfriend were about to blow the lid themselves. Perhaps slightly peeved to have their exclusive blown out the water The Mail rather intruded on the privacy of her family and in particular her father.

Hopefully she will get the chance to claim credit and enjoy a moment in the sun her writing talent affords. A secret can be a great burden especially when they become successful and critically adulated the temptation to leap out and scream IT'S ME TA-DA! And take the bow becomes all too great.

How many trans, particularly transvestite identified subconsciously give permission to be caught. Practically allowing themselves to be found out because of perceived guilt or shame from their actions. The talk can't be avoided by being caught, infact it will probably be tougher. Better to control and manage the damage as best you can which is what Dr Brooke Magnanti has done.


  1. Good points, Lucy.

    Oscar Wilde also used similar tactics whenever he faced such a situation; choosing to publish letters when threatened with blackmail over their contents, etc...

    However, he did finally overplay his hand...

    But yes, stealth has a price and part of that is the risk of being outed by a rag, should one become famous. :-(


  2. I normally find it better to do any outing myself, rather than wait for someone else to do it for me...

    I had to do it with the fact that I wear womens shoes most of the time (boat shoes, as they are the only unisex ones I can find in my size - I don't come to the office in heels). Someone found out and thought it would be funny to tell my dept. So I pre-emtied it.

    Mind you - if it was about more than just the shoes... Possibly a different story...

  3. Mostly stealth here, Lucy. I choose my trans friends wisely and they, obviously know, as does my wife. I just cannot afford to be outed, based on what I do.

    I have slipped more than once. I have let the male "act" go when I should not have and have had return comments like..."You are such a girl." It may have been a subconscience "slip" although I think that in those occassions I actually wanted to out myself.

    Calie xxx

  4. It is a difficult area and in general I agree you might as well be open about it and remove the whole 'outing thing' from those sad individuals who get off on it.
    'Tis a pity they can't leave people alone.(sigh)


  5. I've had a long sranding intwrest in BdJ since following the blog years ago, and have more recently followrdthe Belle/Brooke unmasking - kudos to her, she seems to have coped well.


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