Season's Greetings

Well if you haven't got your gifts yet you're too late. 

Seasons greetings to you all and thanks for reading.

TERF'y Tweets

So J K Rowling made some TERF'y tweets, to the surprise of no-one. Well no one trans who had seen her Twitter account over the last few years anyway. It won't be surprising when another outs themselves as a self appointed defender of teh women next week. They all have freedom of speech to make such comments, as recent employment rulings have affirmed they don't have freedom from consequences, whether that be people calling out their bigotry or employers showing them the door.

Bubble Wrap

Happy winter solstice. I've had one of those nights where it was nearly impossible to switch off my mind and settle down, thankfully I haven't had a night like that for a while and thankfully it wasn't a school night. Elsewhere I had a few packages arrive which quite idelly led me to rediscover the therapeutic joys of popping bubble wrap. I feel it could become a quite expensive habit.

Bits and Pieces

"Britain's First Transgender Parents" ran the headline which was news to me and the many trans parents I've met over the years, but its in the newspapers, so it must be true. Anyway congrats to them and as I've written recently there have been trans parents since time began and there will be many more to come.

I spoke to someone recently who attended a job interview in an office that had a casual Friday policy which was on a Friday so he was formally dressed while the interviewers were in jeans and t-shirts. He thought this was deeply unprofessional, where as I thought you're stuck and them's the rule's. Although they really should schedule interviews on other days. I'd be interested what the brains trust reading this think.

One Week To Go

One more week to go and I'm getting sentimental listening to David Essex crooning A Winters Tale. I'm also someone who's a whizz on Excel, can manage the moribund database system and understand how Winthrop and Valentine made all that money at the end of Trading Places but I'm blown if I can understand this new holiday booking system.

By the way here's an explaination, nothing can explain the sadist who came up with the holiday booking system.

Monday Moments 3

If you think you're having a bad day. Scott Boswell's infamous over at Lords in the 2001 C&G Cup final, ironically it was his bowling display in the semi-final that got his team to the final but nerves and a sweaty palm got to him on the big day and his playing career was finished. In a Guardian interview a few years ago he said that moment took him ten years to get over.

How to Regift a Present

Chances are you've been given gifts that you don't want. Perhaps you're at that age where everyone decided to buy you a pair of slippers and now you've got a dozen pairs, maybe it's another bath set, a gag gift that leaves you gagging or its just plain horrible and now you're cupboard is full.

You could hire me as a sort of half arsed trans Marie Kondo or you could regift it yourself. Hopefully you've kept a note of who gave what to avoid embarrassingly giving that gift back and unlike all those slipper buyers you've put some thought into what they actually would like and hopefully they like slippers. Gag gifts are generally a terrible no no. Only regift if you are 100 percent sure they'd see the funny side. If your item had become worn or faded, the packaging bashed or torn, it's time to donate it away. After all you need that space for this year's slippers.

Nearly Forgotten

Today's the day I nearly forgot to write something and it's getting on. A well organised person would have some kind of "here's something we made earlier" to drop in at this point, but as you've gathered I'm not that person. Today's been that kind of depressing day, gloomy and wet which hardly lifts the spirits and finding out your shoes are no longer waterproof. I should have added about Christmas TV guides yesterday was figuring out what to watch and what I wanted to tape and hoping I could fit it on one E180 before I ran out of tape which invariably I did.

Christmas TV Guides

The Christmas TV guides are out, that large amount of paper that tells you whats on if you can't work that button on your TV that tells you for free. There isn't even the need to know the timing of programs now. But at least it does show that linear TV isn't dead yet.

Trans Parenthood and the McConnell Decision

Being the sort of person who reads court judgement's in their spare time I had a look at the McConnell decision and his so far unsuccessful fight to have his name not listed as the mother on his childs birth certificate. Something missed or ignored by the right wing press and commentators is that the judge clearly de-gendered the term mother meaning a man or a non binary person can be a mother. The case is going to appeal, it affects his dignity and potentially endangers himself and his child and there's a long way until the dust settles and the legal ramifications become clear.

Whatever happens trans and nb folks are still going to have children.

Blogmas: Monday Moments 2

Tequila!

Secret Santa

Secret Santa's for colleagues is that horrible chore as if you haven't got enough trouble buying gifts for people you actually like.

Hopefully they've put a small limit on the value of the gift you can buy if not there's plenty of print and online magazine supplements about suggesting £30 lipsticks and £50 garlic crushers for you to buy. At the £5-£10 limit you probably have to put in little more thought trying to hit that sweet spot between thoughtful and witty or you could just get a box of chocolates. There's also the blind secret Santa in which you don't know who you're buying for in which case I suggest going for broke and buying a chocolate willy.

Sleigh Lists

Its only the 5th and already I've had my limit of All I Want For Christmas Is You for this season. There should be a decree that sleigh lists should only be played from the 1st December and certainly not at 8 AM in a shop to distinctly un-festive feeling workers.

Bus

Somethings have changed a 10 minute wait for the next bus seemed like an eternity especially when you didn't have a smartphone to kill the time. The formal queue for the bus has disappeared replaced by an informal system where you see someone new turn up they look round trying to remember who was there before them before finding a spot and so on. When the bus does arrive there's a series of non-verbal gestures to say "after you" and heaven forfend someone who jumps in, a wave of silent passive aggression sweeps through.

Seasonal Drink

Its that time when coffee shops are offering their seasonal hot drinks. Salted caramel and gingerbread are popular flavors available across several shops. People who get sniffy about a sugary cola will think nothing about buying a large seasonal drink that's loaded with flavoured syrup and so much fatty cream that my arteries tighten up at the mere sight of it. As you can guess I'm someone who likes to taste the coffee although if its Starbucks that's a terrible thing to suffer, the same thing for teas. As for hot chocolate I may accept mint or Baileys*

* Actual Baileys (or own label equivalent) 

Blogmas: Monday Moments 1

How to leave a job with impeccable timing, not something I've ever done.

What is Blogmas?

So I'm taking part in Blogmas again, except its not really Blogmas as I'm taking weekends off, so its more a office hours Blogmas, and not every post will be Christmas themed, still that's more than 17 posts between now and the 24th. Whats I've found as tiring as writing something is trying to come up with something to write about so I've already written most of the jumping off points if not the topics themselves.

Anyway here's Last Christmas but not that version. 

Man

I missed International Men's Day on the 19th of November, and while it's easy to flippantly remark about "male privilege" this doesn't apply to trans men/ trans masculine or for people of colour or gay men. For trans men there are still legal jurisdictions that require restrictions on trans guys ability to have children.

On a wider level there's still a mental health stigma and far too many feeling there's no way out other than suicide. There's attempts to chip away at this stigma though its taking a long time. When I think of what is a man I think of my father and grandfather who its fair to say were hard working and while not the most demonstrative gave little glimpses of their love for their family.

TDoR 2019

As you may be aware today is Transgender Day of Remembrance and it's another sickening roll-call of names, mainly people of colour. While I give my love and respect to those lost and their loved ones mourning, I point out those still here facing danger every day as reported hate crime, especially violent hate crimes are rising and fight for a world where trans people can live safely.

Trans Athletes

In transphobes logic we're too small to bother accommodating or acknowledging and yet so large trans athletes are going to take over women's sport. So anyway, the IAAF are putting more rules about trans athletes it does seem this is the only thing the athletics governing body is worried about, oh and stopping Caster Semenya because she er ... runs faster than other women, doesn't look sterotypically feminine and that's so unfair.

You do think if they put the same effort into stopping actual cheats rather than a mythical bogey person and using junk science. Also not held their prestige World Championship event in a near empty station the sport would be in better shape. Even with that you would have thought someone would have pointed out putting cameras in the blocks filled with scantly clad women runners was a terrible idea.

Coming Out

A little late for the coming out day but here are a few thoughts;

• Yay you've come out, what next?
• You don't have to come out.
• You're identity is not invalidated by not coming out.
• You're free to change or alter what you come out as.
• Only do it when your comfortable and ready.
• It's your story don't let others dictate it.

The first point needs elaborating someday..

Changing

The tree colours are changing to those wonderful yellows and reds,what doesn't change people moaning about Doctor Who, in particular The Doctor being a played by a woman across most who forums you almost want14 to be a non binary/ trans actor to hear their heads explode with rage. Out falls to everyone to point out the title of doctor is non gendered and had been used by non binary people where Mx isn't available and the alternatives are gendered.

On a related note of you're designing a drop-down menu of titles and if doesn't include non binary options then you're doing it wrong.

Things

‘Swindon Then When and Now' (2019) Billy Beaumont Artsite Ltd. / @artsiteltd / Instagram

A summer of record breaking temperatures leading to having more than one cornetto (strawberry, preferably), being a fun pibling to my nieces and nephews (I like to think) and normal disorganisation means I'm behind on writing about things so here's a nice mural instead.

Why Do I Still Blog

Blogging is dead. Its been declared dead every year since 2003 and it was definitely dead when I first said hello four years later on this new site. It will be declared dead every year hence, except for 2025 when for a change it'll be moribund.


At the time there were competing attractions, why blog when you can post to that Facebook or send little blog posts to Twitter? The answer to that now is obvious both have become toxic and both kinda feed off the toxicity in the same way YouTube does trying to recommended me conspiracy videos about the New World Order endgame, or far right videos. There was Tumblr and that was great for trans users especially for non binary, gender fluid and f to m users which has withered even before the recent restrictions, again not targeting the problems (spammers, trolls) but a user sharing a picture of their stitches post top surgery. The obvious point is that what's it online will come and go but the personal webpage will always be there long after your MySpace page has been accidentally deleted and Tom has no more friends.


A blog can be haven, a walled garden to experiment as you will. I have spent more time on this site than anything else creatively, some stuff works better than others but it is all mine and my story. Its still also a way to connect with likeminded people, keep in touch with friends and make your voice heard. Yes if you want to build a personal brand or be an influencer then you probably need a Instagram account (I do but its very dormant) but that restrictions may come in which limit what you can post, if anything at all.


Anyway looking for something from 2007 to end on and looking at the best selling singles from that year, and remembering Mika was big in 2007 and then disappeared, much like the X Factor winner Leon Jackson who had one of the biggest selling singles of the year, as they did back then and whose third single peaked at 94 the following November. I could find a piece of media which frequently uses the word "transgendered" instead of transgender or one of many documentaries which jumps from make-up to old photo and back or a world where retrogressive (and strange, you're essentially announcing what genital's your baby has) gender reveal parties weren't as common.


Instead I chose this







Oh and I'm still a top 10 blog.


And here's to many more years. 

Fathers Day and Signifiers

Its fathers day and I hope you have a great day especially gay, trans and queer dads out there. If you are looking for something to give and your dad isn't sitting in an armchair, drinking alcohol, controlling the TV remote, watching football and farting constantly than I'm all out of suggestions as I haven't seen anything else.

I did see posts about the number one on your 14th birthday being done kind of significance to your future or something so I took a look at the official chart website and this is the top ten in Britland at three start of my 15th year.

Yeah, not the greatest collection of songs, The Cure and En Vogue excepted. Two terrible cover versions on the top three and you forgot that KWS's dance version of Please Don't Go was number one for 5 weeks which says more about how static the charts were around this time it also highlights the phenomona at the time of putting a boilerplate dance beat to any old song whereas this decade putting a boilerplate minor key version to a classic dance track is the thing. I blame John Lewis and Gary Jules.

Was Acceptable in the 90's

Following on from the trend of cis people noticing that Ace Ventura Pet Detective was transphobic (and it only took 25 years) are folks noticing Friends hasn't aged well. This spread to the co-creator realising that there was a lot of transphobic gags, not to mention the stereotyping, homophobia, misogyny, lack of diversity, fat-shaming, and that Ross is horribly manipulative.
I also remember Dana International being asked lot of questions about her genitals in interview after interview following her Eurovision win. Sadly asking trans people about what is in their pants  is still acceptable.

Not Up For Debate

The Economist like many media outlets has recently fallen into the trope of framing a story of trans humanity (nay, humanity itself) as something that needs an alternative viewpoint so it can be debated. The tweet linking to a story regarding a Japanese courts decision to uphold the requirement for surgical sterilisation before allowing their gender identity to be legally recognised.

That such a procedure is required is probably surprising for the many who are non-trans or regularly follow LGBT outlets, although the number of European countries requiring similar treatments has fallen in the past decade, 7 jurisdictions is still 7 too many.

The tweet has since been deleted but not before being screenshotted by many readers.  

There is no alternative viewpoint, the answer is no. It should also apply to other invasive procedures not just sterilisation. Whether the individual concerned has, can't for whatever reason or chooses not to.

My Umbrella

Except on windy days I'm all about umbrellas, they’re great and an incredibly useful invention, I especially love big umbrellas to shelter myself and others, like my trans friends. In fact I’ve got one open now and what a great and divergent bunch are under it, all recognising our difference, standing on one level and preparing to level the big pointy end of the umbrella 🌂 at the UK press. But who is this outside the umbrella typing away? Why It’s a group of gold stared trans rehashing old arguments and criticising Stonewall for supporting that umbrella. Pathologizing and the rigid binary enforcement serves no one, In the end there is no trans hierarchy (a trarchy?) and throwing others to the wolves won’t save yourself eventually.

All together now; my umbrella ella ella ella ey ey ey ey ey.

Windmill Mcturbineface

A while back I mentioned wind turbines and how I generally thought them to be a good thing aesthetically and in filling our need for electric especially if we're going to need it for our cars as well. Getting up close to a set of five in Oxfordshire hearing the whoosh as the blades cut through the air and the hum of the generator in a nice touch they asked local primary schools to name one each.


This was a few years ago, as these days the popular ideas would all be variants of Windmill Mcturbineface. Four of the winning names were things you could imagine a group of school children coming up with like Huff N Puff, the fifth was called Zeus, which is like one of those school projects being brought in thats been clearly done by the parents.

Last Minute

Oh hello again, after a little pause I'm back. It's all been a little hectic, a case of January blues, leaving one job for one closer to home, less stressful and better colleagues / company and leaving my tax return until the last minute despite the fact I owe nothing extra to the HMRC and I only had a few self employed invoices. Then there is nothing like a deadline to focus the mind like the heroic all nighters I pulled to finish an essay for the morning deadline. Thank goodness I didn't decide to give up chocolate or alcohol or make any other change based on an arbitrarily decided point where our planet ends one cycle and starts another.

MMXIX

Remembering those those we have lost along the past year and looking forward to new beginnings in the coming year. Take good self care of yourself and have a good time.