Friday, 27 February 2009

Come a Long Way Since

Welcome to Master-Tranny, transiting doesn't get any tougher than this. A new spin off from the popular cookery show, where contestants face a series of "tests" (the supermarket test, the teenage girl test, any more ideas?) And a lot of talk about a "journey" all played over a soaring indie rock soundtrack.

Guess whose mind was wandering while watching rubbish on the television. This is supposed to be about my development and the missteps and trips along the way.

My voice is not perfect (by a long way the biggest understatement I have ever made), the initial practice sounded a bit too "I'm a laydeeee". I've reigned it in since following the typical route of softening the voice, talking once I felt it starting to click and I sounded great sadly the next utterance would be suited to performing Ol' Man River, Paul Robeson's signature song (a man who did lead a great interesting life which I could end up going on about but will move on to my outfits instead).

I am not one of those who believes that to be a ''serious'' tranny, the party dresses have to be ditched. (It would be dull if we all dressed the same). I can and do feel female in jeans but I will always wear a dress if the mood takes me and the times right I will choose to dress-up. The point missed or forgotten by some. is that a number,  need to so they can be kept sane. From time to time I come across some women who express the same point. The fact is that there are few places (you would be considered slightly eccentric or strange for a start, 'hang on I'll just get my cocktail dress on then we'll go to the pub') and it takes too long to get ready for it to be a daily thing. 

Yes there are also those women who will always opt for jeans but its not all and it would be wrong to insinuate it is or that not they are not proper females or even not feminist.

As I make the baby steps toward that eventual moment of truth (another cliché) , testing my ability to cope with all aspects of trans life, detailed so richly elsewhere.

Everything is still so relatively new and there is a new test every time I go out. For instance, what do you do when you know you're being stared at? How I stop myself lapsing my stance? All this and so much more before I can call myself a wise old tranny, settle back in my rocking chair and be insanely jealous of younger, better looking girls. :) Or even contemplate a successful transition.

7 comments:

Lynn Jones said...

Nah, don't ditch the party threads. You have to let your hair down once in a while.

Sometimes jeans and a cute top is all you want and other times not. It's cool being able to pick (IMO).

For the record, I think passing is overrated. I don't and it no longer botheres me. Sure, I'll never look 100% female, but provided I feel good and look good, I'm not bothered anymore.

But... it's different for us all :-)

Lynn Jones said...

BTW - being stared at?

"Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave." :-)

They'll either look away (result) or smile back (better result!)

Shinigami Liz said...

Vocal practice sucks and I generally don't bother with it (lazy demoness, bad girl). Nothing wrong with wearing whatcha like as long as it remains within the proper level of appropriateness. I get a lot of stares being tall as a tree but I am good at faking confidence and have such a weird and lovable personality it doesn't get me read somehow (who knows). I found out this week at work from comments and questions I have gotten chatting with the others in my training class that I am passing completely (even with my horrible cold and cough that has shot the control on my voice, fun times . . . fun times). Learn to fake confidence and sincerity and you have it made in life (demoness wisdom).

Jess said...

Sensible thoughts, Lucy. Thing is to be yourself - there is no one-size-fits-all to gender variance, we each find a different way of dealing with it, and a different end point.

I'm not sure that wise old tranny is a good aim - better to go out on a roll, and arrive at the gates of St Peter saying "Whoa that was some ride!" (can't remember who first said that, all I'd attribute it).

Take care.

alan said...

That last photo shows there is no reason for staring! None!

Give yourself some credit, OK?

alan

Debbie K said...

Hi Lucy
You are doing just fine. Make sure you go at your own pace. You have indeed come a very long way. Those little steps are just right for you. May you follow the path that leads to your happiness. Enjoy the journey, appreciate the simple pleasures of life on the way. Have a plan, but make sure you live on the way to achieving those dreams.

Thank you sso much for the kind comments you have left on my blog.

Best wishes
Debbie

LucyTolliday said...

@Lynn I agree the hair has to be let down. Smiling and waving.

@Liz Yes it sucks. You are right appropriateness is important.

@Jess Looking forward to the ride.

@alan I will.

@Debbie Thanks, a plan sounds good.