So That's A Whole Year Ended

My invite to Kerry Katona's glamorous party with all her fantastic frozen nibbles including the intriguing King Prawn Spoons and great guests like Jason Donovan, has obviously been lost in the post. So I will probably do what I did last year,  sit at home listening to Big Ben ring in the new year and watch the fireworks. Not that I would have it any other way, its the one time where you need a ticket to go down the pub and I'm never that organised.

The beauty of life is that its often uncertain and throw good and bad things your way unexpectedly I hope you can navigate your path next year with ease.

The Girl Who... would like to thank you for reading thus far. Some blogs are either or all of the following witty, informative, moving, intelligent or inspiring. Mine is ... er, ...

..anyway, happy new year!

Have A Cracking Christmas

I give you a cheesy but topical advert from the 1980's. No wonder they went bust in the end, the amount they must have paid the Goodies during this extravaganza.

I'll be back after I've bought some C90 cassettes for only £2.99.

Woolworths "Have a Cracking Christmas" UK TV Advert (1981)

A very merry Christmas to you all, 

Lucy Haylie Tolliday. 

Balancing

Even a few months ago I probably would have hid somewhere or ran away.

It was drizzly evening and I was late. As seems to be the case whenever I attempt to get ready recently other people unwittingly hinder and delay me, that day was no different. I get ready eventually, makeup's a bit rushed and my sister turns up. Outside people were out and about, one double take but alright. Until...

The man in the fake Burberry cap turns up. It wasn’t until we passed each other that I heard him shout a string of expletives aggressively.

Uh oh.

I continued to walk away, picking up a little, not turning back, listening for the sound of footsteps just in case. QUEER, GAY, QUEER was his passing shot as I disappeared off to pass others who indifferent or more tolerating of this tranny in their midst.

I had a comeback ready but decided to take what I decided was the safest course of action. I have had homophobic and a instance of transphobic abuse before, depressing though that statement is. There will always be bigots about but they can’t be allowed to stop me or turn me into a permanent victim.

Writing about this I am aware that I may be dissuading some thinking of coming out but I can’t paint a rosy picture all the time, just be sensible and for me the joys outweigh the pains and knob heads encountered. I am not brave nor do I have high self esteem.

The rest of the night was pleasant enough, it was nice to have an excuse to get out even if my application of blusher wasn’t the best. I can be the quiet on and I apologise to anyone who met a slightly monosyllabic tranny, that was probably me being awkward at social gatherings again. My posture failed me at times and needs more work. The photo was taken on the way home, I forgot to activate the control for dim conditions so I’m a little in the shadows and my photography skills need a little work.

I did take a mirror this time, next time remember some flip-flops to put on if walking home.

No Longer Quiescent

My post frequency has dipped giving anyone who read's this a break from reading about my gender gubbins. Actually I haven't had the time to develop ideas, some of my thoughts have though, run their way to twitter.

A few may have noticed they are a "friend" lighter on Facebook, its because it was increasingly becomeing a ghost profile and if you are member on social sites you probably should be active. I also think it brought out the worst in me as I seriously considered accepting a total stranger I knew nothing about just to add a friend to my tally. Life should not be a popularity contest, though many acted as if it was. Perhaps I'm being too uptight as to the definition of a friend that it has been devalued in the modern world. And what about a delete profile button as well instead of having to fire off emails.

I am planing for next year, some of the things are that I feel my mind is going to mush at the moment need a challenge and mental stimulation above the occaisional sudoku puzzle. Need to push my development to being a female on top of that, grow my esteem and fight my deamon's and dark thoughts.

And above all DON'T EVEN TOUCH A LABEL DEBATE, however well meaning I am.

Currently trying out Pidgin as an alternative to running seperate IM clients, seems to be running fine my messenger login is lucytolliday AT live.co.uk provided you're not a spammer or troll feel free to add.

The Cure

Like economists if you ask 10 transgendered people their opinion of something you will often end up with 11 different views*. All honed independently and often developed by looking at the same source material yet coming up with a different conclusion.

Some are flexible in their ideologies than others like the great John Maynard Keynes said "If the facts change, I change my mind...", others are ridged zealously defending their view.I would like to think I'm the former rather than the latter. Always open to new ideas and adjusting accordingly.

You may be wondering where am I going with this? Personally I have no idea.

However there are issues which everyone seems to agree on. With economists it doesn't matter if you adhere to the Chicago school or are a neo-Keynesian, you agree that free trade is good thing. The extent and implementation is debatable but on the principle it gets your seal of approval.

In the trans grouping the thing which gets similar agreement is that there is no cure. A brief search will turn up lines like, "there is no cure" numerous times. Allowing for the fact that if anyone has been cured then they are no longer in the community, there is the belief that the statement is true. But if true why are there individuals offering hope to vulnerable people like myself. At times I want to believe them.



* I haven't asked any transgendered economists, there must be one as I'm sure not every tranny works in IT (though sometimes it seems so).

Did I disappoint anyone who saw the title and were expecting to read some words on Robert Smith et al?

Woolies

Think I found a collectors item. Sadly a company can't survive on warm fuzzy feelings from the public alone or as it turns out being lumped with a lot of your parent companies debt when demerged.