No Thanks For The Mammary's

Page 3 was brought up at the Levenson enquiry and the editor of The Sun trotted out a tired old defence to what is a tired and dated section of the newspaper.

It was described as an institution. Not all institutions are worth preserving though. It perhaps should have followed that other "institution" Miss World and disappeared (from UK screens, at least).

That it hasn't suggests a large number of readers of The Sun and Daily Star enjoy it, though its debatable whether it is the deciding factor to buy said publications, The Sport had an abundance of nipples and very little else, which didn't save them from going bankrupt (or bust, if you forgive the pun).

Do I support a ban? No, I am not a fan of censorship, if you believe there is something worth censoring, I do not consider breasts pornographic and the same goes for bottoms, in my opinion. But then I'm probably out of step and enthused with too much western European liberalism. The participants are adult, consenting and paid and there are more trubleing and sexist images appearing on celebrity websites and magazines everyday.

PR Stunts and Proton Savvy's

I do think the unhappy face on the hand written sign is an poignient touch. Hello, I'm now on the other side of one of those busy peaks of the year where I was sat infrount of a spreadsheet beyond what is good for me or any normal person for that matter.

It is coming up to Valentine’s Day, I guess at its base there is a celebration of romance and lurvvydovvey stuff but my word it’s hard to like something when there is just so much crass and cynical commerciality piled on top. A few years ago someone mocked up a Tesco Value valentines cardsatirising the commercial aspects before going viral only for ASDA to really produce one several years later as a cheap PR stunt Anyway,I’m sure a lot of uncomfortable frilly and lacey pants will be sold.

The subject of breast implants raises some hackles but when trans joins the equation everything is turned up to 11 and it invariably gets very trollish (a word?) but what everyone should agree on is that they should not kill you like the PIP implants apparently have from what initially looked like some cheap and nasty product going wrong is showing signs of dodgy dealing and rather poor regulation. Ideally the government should have brought out its smiting stick and ensured that the large profitable private companies,some it has been suggested sold it as a Bentley when in fact they were installing Proton Savvy’s, have a duty of care and should remove them free of charge. A lot of women have been deeply troubled over this but hopefully the outcome will lead to greater protection to all, including trans who go private in future.

Recycle The Tree

Now on the other side, its time to add 2012 to the collumn on the right and put the tree out for collection.

At least unlike last year there's no royal wedding to bore me senseless for the first 1/3 of the year with newspapers producing supplements in the desperate hope that a proportion of the population will buy their wares again, even the Guardian jumped on the bandwagon despite a large part of the readership are waiting for the first republic and the rest couldn't give a flying stuff. I predict there'll be more flannelling though in time for the jubilee and more pictures of an upper middle class bum whenever the thinnest of excuses appears.

Dubbed on Twitter as the obscenity trial, the acquittal of Michael Peacock has delivered a interesting kick  to the OPA. People more specialised to comment in detail on the implications will, or indeed have already done so, here and there. I'll just say that I hope that the law finally ends intervening in the bedroom affairs of consenting adults, there are things on Gumtree more worthy of police attention and you can safely bet publishers are wondering how far to push the new envelope.

Like last year I'll probably be posting irregually and without any concl

Happy New Year

In the past few years I haven't been out celebrating the end of one arebretary point in the calendar and the start of another. I'm sure people are having fun but the whole thing feels forced and there's nothing so grim as trying to pressure yourself to parr-tay.

So i'll probably have a quiet night, try to send a few messages before the mobile network's jam, listen to Big Ben chime at midnight and then hope there's a half decent film on tv.

What ever you chose to do, I hope its great and i'll see you on the other side.

Be Mary This Christmas

And as Santa shuts up his factory for the last time unable to compete with the out-of Lapland HyperTescoMegaXmasMart and hands the elf's their P45's. While Ebenezer Jet Scrooge rebrands himself as a job creator, berates the ghosts for being dangerously socialist and kicks away Tim's crutches for good measure. I would like to wish you a very merry Christmas. Some folks get shirty if you say holidays instead of christmas, I personally don't care. There are a set of values implicit in any of the variations that are good and friendly things to wish each other. Happy Chanukah as well while I'm at it.

As the punchline to an old cracker joke goes; eat, drink and be Mary.

No More Biscuit Buying

The world and her auntie have already written about My Transsexual Summer it seems (but that’s probably more to do with who, I follow) so I’ll step clear of a detailed post on the subject. As the last post suggests I’m a little jaded about the whole trans tele thing anyway.  My problems were a lot to do with modern production styles than anything substantive and it posted competitive figures for Channel 4 in that timeslot (not to mention the +1, PVR , online and repeat figures) so they’ll be many more to come for good or bad.

One of the participants recieved a lot of critisum for using the word "tranny" while I respect their right to dislike the word and even object to, I think they need to realise that others are not offended.

An obvious spin-off would be My Transvestite Winter, where the online community can argue whether they really are TV because you, know, one of the participants did something more stereotypically transsexual. There’s also the moment where one decides to walk to post a letter only to realise they haven’t needed to send a letter for a while, all their bills are paid electronically and they haven’t written a letter for a very long time. While looking for an idea she spots the advert for stair lifts, fills in the coupon asking for a brochure and pops it in an envelope leaving her ground floor flat into the late night air.

The group then visit all the well-known haunts, the Way Out Club, Pink Punters, Sparkle and the branch of Marks and Spenser on Regent Street, Swindon. Where they receive a lot of looks and plenty of attention, which can be edited so it appears they’re all looking at them not the large camera crew trailing them.

And they’ll still be doing something more interesting than buying biscuits.

Surgery On Ice With Spuggy

“Where else would you get a brave and honest insight into gender transition?”

The quote is from the Channel  4 press site announcing the Trans documentary “Girls will be Boys and Boys will be Girls” as part of their autumn season, reading it one gets a sense of deja vu.

To answer their (rhetorical) question everywhere, it seems promises a brave and honest look, (they also tend to mention other words like tender and sympathetic). But then I don’t think there’s a programme on this subject which declares it’s going to be cowardly and dishonest beforehand, although many turn out that way.

Elsewhere I noticed they are looking for participants for yet another trans documentary, it only seemed like weeks since the last one was broadcast on UK TV, probably because it was only weeks ago. I would have thought all angles were already covered (tv, m2f, f2m, b2b, abc, flibety flob, etc, etc) and there was nothing new to say.  I may be surprised and it could be different, like featuring a woman leading up to her SRS only this time its ON ICE and performed by celebrities! 

Of course that’s a flippant answer but if Jet and his eponymous production company are reading in their Hoxton studio office or any other production company for that matter then do avoid the cliché’s. There are so many a drinking game was invented. (Though I’m willing to listen to offers for the “Celebrity Sex Change On Ice” format by the way, the fliberty flob episode featuring Joe Pasquale, Spuggy from Biker Grove and Stu Francis will be must watch television). 

Someday a programme will feature transgender people going about their lives once in a blue moon challenging gender norms and all that but most of the time they'll be going to work, paying bills and deciding whether to buy Hob Nob's or Digestive's at the supermarket. Just like everybody else.

The Joy of Poundland

Poundland is a unique shopping experience full of interesting customers (not as interesting as those in the 99p store down the road, but interesting none the less) and a lot of mainly cheap tat.

On a damp, wet day and wishing not to arrive at my meeting looking drenched and dishevelled, I went in there to buy a cheap umbrella but as soon as you enter you're assaulted by offers despite knowing that some of it is made of material so cheap it will disintegrate by the time the packaging is opened. Its much like the IKEA formula where the customer thinks they're only going into the store for a wardrobe and come out with a shoe tree, an "innovative" cup hook and some glittery shower curtain rings.

There's a huge pile of After Eight's to start. After Eight chocolate's are the sort of thing which were sold as being classy, posh and sophisticated but were none of the above which places them alongside items such as Vienetta ice cream and stretch limousine's.

The book section is a sad area of unloved books that nobody bought filling the shelves, serving as a reminder to the occasionally over optimistic hubris of the publishing industry like the large pile of "Is It Just Me", by Richard Hammond hoping to finally find a home at a knock-down price.

In the end I got my umbrella and a few other things, naturally. For a retailer born during the 90's recession looks set to continue expanding everywhere in this one (apart from Oxford, strangely).

A PSA From FACT

With all the accusations that certain people are not genuine transsexuals we at FACT, the Federation Against Counterfeit Tranny's felt that we should produce a guide so you can be confidant you've brought home a genuine m2f transsexual.

Often fake transsexuals are of poor quality, can reduce viewing pleasure and jeopardise future transsexual production. Also they are sold by bad people who poke poorly kittens and don't return the shopping trolley after they've used it, so it's imperative that you help us.

If you can't find the hologram then you might want to ask a question like 'do you work in IT?' Or 'motorbikes are great aren't they? If they answer yes you can take her home with confidence.

However if they subsequently express an interest in dresses, admit to quite liking sex, having a crossdressing friend or not breaking up with their long term partner among many other crimes then you can freely message them offering your own diagnosis because the opinions of several trained professionals,sometimes experienced gatekeepers and their own knowledge of themselves patently counts for nothing.

Thank you for watching.

Unremarkable Tree

A brief selection of waffle to end another period of neglectfulness toward the blog. Slightly busy at the moment to finish off the drafts

The picture above is a unremarkable tree was on the grounds of a former school now demolished which is now a community area / field. It was planted as a memorial to a boy who choked to death in the playground after swallowing a pen lid in 1977. I remember those pens and watching reports on Newsround of children choking to death over 10 years later before someone thought it might be a good idea to put a hole in the lid and try to limit such a needless loss of life.

People Will Always Need Plates

Its time for those A level results to be revealed and for pictures of attractive teenage girls to be published with equally attractive friends in a celebratory yet suggestively sapphic way. Extra points if you can get them to pose like that and leap in the air at the same time.

All of this is in no way tacky or slightly pervy. Oh no no no no...

Been there and my nerves were suitably shredded. I remember collecting my results often bumping into my time cohorts for what would be the final time and without ceremony I read my results ending one chapter and starting another in my life.

With youth unemployment at 20% and massive student debts you wonder what a chapter some face.But its not the end of the world if you haven't done well.

Those Offensive Questionnaires

Some things are worth getting angry an innocuous diversity questionnaire may not seem like one of them but Richenda Legge did. That horrible "Norfolk District Council sent her a customer survey with a series of highly personal questions" as the Mail reports.
Of an optional nature and used by public bodies across the country.

'But I really saw red when I read the question about my sexual orientation. There was a choice of heterosexual and straight, gay woman/lesbian, bi-sexual or ''other''.

The bastards.

"As it so happens I am happily married to Mr Legge.."

Good for you. So you can declare this to several million readers but not tick a box on a questionnaire.

'I found the questions offensive and unnecessary - and so I shredded and recycled it".

Or maybe the council wished to know who lived in their borough and used their services to, perhaps, better tailor their offering to the community they serve.


This was too good and followed up by another piece a few days later with the predictable rent-a-quote spokesman from the so called "Taxpayers Alliance". Although they have never spoken for this taxpayer and as Private Eye pointed out several senior members don't live here or pay UK tax.

Presumably they would also object to questions (or a "grilling") on a persons transsexual (sic) status. Which although the one I saw recently was clunkily worded have been added to several forms, I believe it a good thing on balance and if you don't agree save yourself the mere 10-15 seconds and leave it alone.