Trans Parenthood and the McConnell Decision

Being the sort of person who reads court judgement's in their spare time I had a look at the McConnell decision and his so far unsuccessful fight to have his name not listed as the mother on his childs birth certificate. Something missed or ignored by the right wing press and commentators is that the judge clearly de-gendered the term mother meaning a man or a non binary person can be a mother. The case is going to appeal, it affects his dignity and potentially endangers himself and his child and there's a long way until the dust settles and the legal ramifications become clear.

Whatever happens trans and nb folks are still going to have children.

Blogmas: Monday Moments 2

Tequila!

Secret Santa

Secret Santa's for colleagues is that horrible chore as if you haven't got enough trouble buying gifts for people you actually like.

Hopefully they've put a small limit on the value of the gift you can buy if not there's plenty of print and online magazine supplements about suggesting £30 lipsticks and £50 garlic crushers for you to buy. At the £5-£10 limit you probably have to put in little more thought trying to hit that sweet spot between thoughtful and witty or you could just get a box of chocolates. There's also the blind secret Santa in which you don't know who you're buying for in which case I suggest going for broke and buying a chocolate willy.

Sleigh Lists

Its only the 5th and already I've had my limit of All I Want For Christmas Is You for this season. There should be a decree that sleigh lists should only be played from the 1st December and certainly not at 8 AM in a shop to distinctly un-festive feeling workers.

Bus

Somethings have changed a 10 minute wait for the next bus seemed like an eternity especially when you didn't have a smartphone to kill the time. The formal queue for the bus has disappeared replaced by an informal system where you see someone new turn up they look round trying to remember who was there before them before finding a spot and so on. When the bus does arrive there's a series of non-verbal gestures to say "after you" and heaven forfend someone who jumps in, a wave of silent passive aggression sweeps through.

Seasonal Drink

Its that time when coffee shops are offering their seasonal hot drinks. Salted caramel and gingerbread are popular flavors available across several shops. People who get sniffy about a sugary cola will think nothing about buying a large seasonal drink that's loaded with flavoured syrup and so much fatty cream that my arteries tighten up at the mere sight of it. As you can guess I'm someone who likes to taste the coffee although if its Starbucks that's a terrible thing to suffer, the same thing for teas. As for hot chocolate I may accept mint or Baileys*

* Actual Baileys (or own label equivalent) 

Blogmas: Monday Moments 1

How to leave a job with impeccable timing, not something I've ever done.

What is Blogmas?

So I'm taking part in Blogmas again, except its not really Blogmas as I'm taking weekends off, so its more a office hours Blogmas, and not every post will be Christmas themed, still that's more than 17 posts between now and the 24th. Whats I've found as tiring as writing something is trying to come up with something to write about so I've already written most of the jumping off points if not the topics themselves.

Anyway here's Last Christmas but not that version. 

Man

I missed International Men's Day on the 19th of November, and while it's easy to flippantly remark about "male privilege" this doesn't apply to trans men/ trans masculine or for people of colour or gay men. For trans men there are still legal jurisdictions that require restrictions on trans guys ability to have children.

On a wider level there's still a mental health stigma and far too many feeling there's no way out other than suicide. There's attempts to chip away at this stigma though its taking a long time. When I think of what is a man I think of my father and grandfather who its fair to say were hard working and while not the most demonstrative gave little glimpses of their love for their family.

TDoR 2019

As you may be aware today is Transgender Day of Remembrance and it's another sickening roll-call of names, mainly people of colour. While I give my love and respect to those lost and their loved ones mourning, I point out those still here facing danger every day as reported hate crime, especially violent hate crimes are rising and fight for a world where trans people can live safely.

Trans Athletes

In transphobes logic we're too small to bother accommodating or acknowledging and yet so large trans athletes are going to take over women's sport. So anyway, the IAAF are putting more rules about trans athletes it does seem this is the only thing the athletics governing body is worried about, oh and stopping Caster Semenya because she er ... runs faster than other women, doesn't look sterotypically feminine and that's so unfair.

You do think if they put the same effort into stopping actual cheats rather than a mythical bogey person and using junk science. Also not held their prestige World Championship event in a near empty station the sport would be in better shape. Even with that you would have thought someone would have pointed out putting cameras in the blocks filled with scantly clad women runners was a terrible idea.

Coming Out

A little late for the coming out day but here are a few thoughts;

• Yay you've come out, what next?
• You don't have to come out.
• You're identity is not invalidated by not coming out.
• You're free to change or alter what you come out as.
• Only do it when your comfortable and ready.
• It's your story don't let others dictate it.

The first point needs elaborating someday..

Changing

The tree colours are changing to those wonderful yellows and reds,what doesn't change people moaning about Doctor Who, in particular The Doctor being a played by a woman across most who forums you almost want14 to be a non binary/ trans actor to hear their heads explode with rage. Out falls to everyone to point out the title of doctor is non gendered and had been used by non binary people where Mx isn't available and the alternatives are gendered.

On a related note of you're designing a drop-down menu of titles and if doesn't include non binary options then you're doing it wrong.

Things

‘Swindon Then When and Now' (2019) Billy Beaumont Artsite Ltd. / @artsiteltd / Instagram

A summer of record breaking temperatures leading to having more than one cornetto (strawberry, preferably), being a fun pibling to my nieces and nephews (I like to think) and normal disorganisation means I'm behind on writing about things so here's a nice mural instead.

Why Do I Still Blog

Blogging is dead. Its been declared dead every year since 2003 and it was definitely dead when I first said hello four years later on this new site. It will be declared dead every year hence, except for 2025 when for a change it'll be moribund.


At the time there were competing attractions, why blog when you can post to that Facebook or send little blog posts to Twitter? The answer to that now is obvious both have become toxic and both kinda feed off the toxicity in the same way YouTube does trying to recommended me conspiracy videos about the New World Order endgame, or far right videos. There was Tumblr and that was great for trans users especially for non binary, gender fluid and f to m users which has withered even before the recent restrictions, again not targeting the problems (spammers, trolls) but a user sharing a picture of their stitches post top surgery. The obvious point is that what's it online will come and go but the personal webpage will always be there long after your MySpace page has been accidentally deleted and Tom has no more friends.


A blog can be haven, a walled garden to experiment as you will. I have spent more time on this site than anything else creatively, some stuff works better than others but it is all mine and my story. Its still also a way to connect with likeminded people, keep in touch with friends and make your voice heard. Yes if you want to build a personal brand or be an influencer then you probably need a Instagram account (I do but its very dormant) but that restrictions may come in which limit what you can post, if anything at all.


Anyway looking for something from 2007 to end on and looking at the best selling singles from that year, and remembering Mika was big in 2007 and then disappeared, much like the X Factor winner Leon Jackson who had one of the biggest selling singles of the year, as they did back then and whose third single peaked at 94 the following November. I could find a piece of media which frequently uses the word "transgendered" instead of transgender or one of many documentaries which jumps from make-up to old photo and back or a world where retrogressive (and strange, you're essentially announcing what genital's your baby has) gender reveal parties weren't as common.


Instead I chose this







Oh and I'm still a top 10 blog.


And here's to many more years.